Good Enough

I remember the first time I felt like I was the worst mom in the world, Stuart was at work and I was trying to get ready to go run errands and I was about to hop in the shower. Emma was content lounging in her bouncy seat in the bathroom where I can keep an eye on her so I started running water for my shower. About the time I am hopping in, Emma starts crying. My options here are 1) to turn off the shower and calm her down and then try again for the shower, 2) skip showering altogether and just go or 3) let her cry for a few minutes while I took the world fastest shower. I opted for worlds fastest shower as I had chosen option 2 the day before. As I am frantically shampooing my hair with Emma wailing in the background I felt awful. How could a mother just let her baby cry while she washes her hair? What kind of mother was I? About halfway through the shower, with me singing silly songs and playing quick little bits of peek-a-boo with her around the shower curtain Emma settled down and let me shower at a more leisurely pace. By the end of the shower I felt better about my skills as a mother. Funny how a baby's smile makes you feel like a superhero. I thought about the guilt I'd felt about letting Emma cry while I showered. What kind of mother lets her baby cry while she showers? A real mom. A real mom has things that have be done. A real mom knows that a few minutes of fussing while she showers isn't going to scar the kid for life. A real mom makes it work. As much as we try to make sure everything is perfect, real moms realize pretty early on that perfect isn't real. Perfect isn't attainable. Real parents abandon perfect about 48 hours after baby is born. Perfect doesn't account for diaper blow outs or projectile vomit. Perfect doesn't allow for real life. Real parents settle for real life and "good enough". Good enough means just that. Things are good enough to get you through until tomorrow or until the next minor baby fiasco. Good enough for me is a happy family. The laundry may not always be done and put away but as long as we all have clean clothes for tomorrow then that's good enough.


  1. For pete's sake! I just typed out this whole wonderful comment and had to sign in with my non-work account and lost it all!!

    I love this post. You are such a superhero in my book for a) even attempting your PhD; something I have decided will never happen for me, b) raising such a beautiful little girl while you are both still in school, and c) having refrained from making a black-and-white spotted rug to cover your holes on your couch while still completing a) and b) successfully!! You are my hero, and I honestly hope that I can cultivate your very reasonable and sensible attitude when I become a mother. Or maybe even now. I'm really enjoying your blog! Keep it up!!


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